Writing about books is not really my forte and writing about books by people I know is particularly daunting — but here goes. Two memoirs I finished in as many weeks, still linger with me like the feeling after time spent with dear friends. No – like time spent with my sister – the richness of connection born of time, love – birth. That’s what remains with me after reading these brilliantly written titles by two women I admire and really like. Coincidentally, both were sadly, inspired by the death of their sisters. Just writing that, a sob sticks in my throat.
You’ll have to wait to read Nina Sankovitch’s Tolstoy and the Purple Chair: My Year of Magical Reading because the pub date is early June, but it’s a book that will fly and you heard it here first. Nina lives nearby and has a fantastic reading blog. Meeting Nina for the first time two weeks ago, we gabbed about books and life and books again, and then
finally, set up her launch event at the store in June. She gave lucky-me, an advance copy and I spent the following weekend reading this stunning journey through grief. (I first wrote ‘through and beyond’ but one never gets beyond profound loss, do they? Through, with time but a void remains – there is no going ‘beyond’ that empty space.) After the devastating death of her sister, Nina spends time frantically determined to live her own life twice as hard – but she hits a wall. Grief is to be sat with – and this she did, setting herself a goal and discipline of reading and then writing about, a book a day. She reads classics, mysteries, biographies, novels – new and old. Through her insightful readings and moving recollections we journey through the books she reads, into a rich exploration of sadness, loss, love – life. Hers is a beautiful, universal book. And she’s just so damn like-able, you’ll want to be her friend, too.
The tricky thing after reading such a superb book, is what to pick up next. Waiting in my ‘to-read’ wings, was Jill Bialosky’s History of a Suicide: My Sister’s Unfinished Life. Jill a poet, novelist and editor, read at the store more than once and each time, we chatted warmly, comparing our children’s ages (about the same) and interests, but I did not know
we shared unfortunate membership of being in the suicide survivor club. Her sister ended her life so young – in her early twenties just as Jill is beginning her an unbelievably heartbreaking, but ultimately, joyful quest towards motherhood, all the while writing and publishing beautiful books. I marvel at how she did it – the amount of time she spent curled up in a ball seems slight for the cruel losses she endured. The original title for my still evolving, memoir on addiction and suicide was Light Between Shadows. The shadow of being a suicide survivor threads through Jill’s book, but ultimately she leads us with the stunning poetry of her writing and insight, into the light.
I felt such recognition while reading Jill’s book – and while I am an amateur compared to her, feel inspired to delve deeper in writing my story of life with addiction and suicide in The Things We Cannot Change. Both Nina and Jill’s books are so courageous – and this is my challenge. Years of ‘Making Nice‘ and spent in Al-Anon learning detachment skills, do not make for good memoir writing. Tolstoy and the Purple Chair and History of a Suicide show me how raw truth can and should be told, with power and grace. Back to work for me.
And an overdue visit with my sister.