How to explain my silence? I’d lost my voice. My excuses were: the election dismayed me, retail work during the crazy holiday season exhausted me. The longer I went without writing, the more I lost that muscle.
Since my dear dog died almost a year ago it has definitely been harder for me to find the quiet place from where my writing emerges. Our required walks together provided me with precious time for contemplation, observing nature, just being. I miss that and have yet to figure out another daily rhythm to regularly find that time and space.
But maybe in this interesting time of transitions in my life I’ve been looking in the wrong place for inspiration. Perhaps, rather than trying to replicate what worked before it’s time to find a new way…
Yesterday millions of people took to the streets. While 100% of me was willing to be there in spirit, I dragged my feet about going myself. When the friend I was going with decided to go to the NYC march instead of the one 15 minutes away I thought – I’m off the hook! No one will know and I can stay home and cheer my sisters (and so many brothers!) on from home! I know, I know – shame on me. But I’m not a fan of crowds, blah, blah, blah. Really, I had no good reason not to go. I went.
Surrounded by thousands of other peaceful protestors, I realized that of the things that have saved my life: friendships, writing, yoga, AlAnon – just showing up is the most important thing you can do.
Here I am.