Time Makes Room for Joy

This year marks a decade since my husband killed himself. My daughter was a month shy of 9. At the time Molly was convinced that all of her friends’ lives were perfect. Why did this happen to her. I agreed it wasn’t fair. But, I explained, no one’s life is ever perfect, certainly not forever. Her friends too, would¬†experience sadness and loss. In her world she may be the first – but would not be the last. Extremely empathetic even as a toddler, Molly soon absorbed this and was a happy kid, offering comfort to her friends in their tough times.


These days, our shared memories of N usually make us laugh. For years he held off the black ocean of darkness that destroyed him in the end, by being outrageously funny. A genuinely warm and generous man, for a time he effectively channeled his craziness into endearing antics and even acts of heroism. For Molly and I, those good memories of him are now stronger than the frightening, bitter ones.

Our perception of our story has changed over this decade. Time makes room for joy. 

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11 Responses to Time Makes Room for Joy

  1. Avatar Thomas Fiffer says:

    This is beautiful and so redeeming. Thank you for sharing.

  2. That’s a great place to be!

  3. You have captured a fundamental truth, one that is so important to remember during sad or difficult times. Thank you.

  4. Time makes room for joy…yes. Beautifully said

  5. Avatar Tricia says:

    Thank you for reading!

  6. Avatar Tricia says:

    Yes – you know!

  7. Avatar Tricia says:

    Thanks, Ellen.

  8. Avatar Erica terry Hines says:

    Wow! Awesome……. So happy u folks are at a good place now…… I have some nice memories of some of those good times! Keep writing …… I’m Enjoying it….. Terry

  9. Avatar Ina Chadwick says:

    Nice to post this brief trip back to grief with a brief that tells us you are moving on in happiness.

  10. Avatar Ellen Perlwitz says:

    Beautiful statement. And I do remember him as warm and funny. What a journey from grief to love and joy.

  11. Avatar LaVagabonde says:

    Glad to hear that you’re able to remember the good things. Depression is so often hidden behind humor.

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