Changing Gears: A Writing Conference

It’s been 4 months since I stopped working and I still marvel that every day is all mine. I was a responsible employee and 8 AM to 5 PM belonged to the company. I could have been a goof-off since I worked from home but my boss trusted all of her team and I honored that faith. I confess I cooked up the occasional soup and definitely scrolled through my phone too much but I did not go shopping or have lunch with friends on the clock. My time felt owned. I needed to stop working to reclaim my consciousness. It was time to find my own rhythm to the days before there are no more left.

I’d been doing advance planning for a year or so before my last day of employment. Like riding a bicycle up hill, a biker needs to anticipate the slope and shift gears as pedaling gets harder. Before I stopped working in December, I did a lot of adding up income vs bills, I joined the YMCA so I’d have an exercise routine, planned trips and read a lot. 

I read for inspiration on how to live a rich and creative life over a certain age. This is how I found Oldster Magazine (https://oldster.substack.com/) – an online publication created by the writer and editor, Sari Botton. Oldster includes a great interview series with interesting and off-beat people I can relate to, about what it’s like to age, to be – old! Sari was one of the instructors at the Southern Vermont Writers’ Conference (https://greenmtnacademy.org/pages/southern-vermont-writers-conference) that I just attended. She had posted in Oldster about scholarships for writers over 65. I applied for and won one! What a gift! I returned a week ago Friday, from a nourishing and inspiring 5 days in Manchester VT. I’m still processing the experience but here are some thoughts –

There were two other workshops on offer but I signed up for Sari’s 5 day workshop on Writing Compelling Personal Essays. I struggle to describe what feels like a time of alchemy, especially in that windowless hotel conference room of our workshop. Sari asked big questions and used prompts to get us to go deep in our writing. And we did. In those 5 morning sessions, our little group grew braver by the day, writing pieces that made everyone else cry. Hearts were shared in all their broken beauty. The writing was superb.

Initially I wanted to shy away from writing about what I think of as old pain as if sadness and sorrow can be packed away in the closet like clothes that no longer fit. The 8 of us in Sari’s group wrote about profound losses, heartbreaks, struggles – and created beauty. Pain cracks us like nothing else, opening our senses up to the profound, the stuff of life. This is what interests me and what I want to be doing – mining the riches that live even in the darkness. There, like the bottom of a compost pile, is where fertile material lies.

By the end of the week this group felt like a tribe and remains a goal post for me to be honest and go deep. Being open, seeking and truthful feels like resistance these days and I’m all in on that. Each paragraph of writing shared, set another stone for the way. Comments were insightful and generous. We listened to each other carefully, honoring and following each others voice. There was humor, sass, sexiness, gentleness, tears spilled for ourselves and for each other. A kind love grew in our mornings together under Sari’s gentle, smart guidance. 

I didn’t arrive or leave with a specific intention about writing, I only know that writing compels me and a day feels better when I do it. I don’t want to write in a vacuum. Having readers and getting comments, (thank you!) enriches me as does working with other writers. Life might feel solitary but we are not alone. What reader doesn’t find that to be true after reading something that resonates? Perhaps, someone will find comfort, solace in my writing, may feel less alone.

Caren and Kim, who launched the Southern Vermont Writer’s Conference, created something wonderful by bringing together this group of writers and instructors – weaving together a community of strangers, many becoming new friends. If you write, check them out – they’ll be doing it again next year. You’ll want to be there!